I Will Follow You by E. L. Todd

Author:E. L. Todd [Todd, E. L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Fallen Publishing
Published: 2015-03-22T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter Nine

Mike

My daughter hates me.

I really fucked this up.

I was just trying to protect her, but instead, I hurt her.

What was I going to do?

I love her.

The idea of losing her from my life forever was a fate I couldn’t even contemplate. I wouldn’t walk her down the aisle. I wouldn’t be there for the birth of my grandchildren.

I would miss everything.

She hated me. She looked me in the eye and said it. There was no doubt or hesitation She said it, and with every fiber of her being, she meant it.

I was grateful Slade was trying to bring us back together. He could easily turn his back on me and I wouldn’t be able to judge him for it. He had every right to hate me.

But thankfully, he didn’t.

How would I get Trinity back? I’d tried talking to her and apologizing. I told her I love her and said I was sorry from the bottom of my heart.

But she still didn’t want me.

My life had become unbearable. I was a walking zombie. When I was home, I ignored Cassandra and stared at a wall for hours. Sometimes I thought I was at a work but then reality set in. I drank more beer than water.

I’d sit at my desk in my office then think I was home. Sean would snap me back to reality by touching me on the shoulder or trying to make me feel better with empty words.

I drank scotch at work, hoping that would dull the pain.

Days molded together and I couldn’t distinguish them. On a Saturday morning, I got up and dressed for work. Cassandra had to remind me it was the weekend. Depressed, I went to work anyway and sat in my office.

Alone.

Losing a child was the worst pain imaginable. And it was my only daughter. I didn’t have an excuse for my behavior other than the fact I was just trying to protect her. And I hated myself for that.

Trinity should hate me.

***

I’d been drinking a lot lately. Normally, I had a beer at dinner, and when I went out, I had a few more. But it was nothing compared to now. If I didn’t have a drink in my system the pain was too unbreakable. Even Cassandra, the woman who had my soul, couldn’t make me feel better.

I failed as a parent, and that was the worst failure in the world. I’d never been perfect at everything, and failure wasn’t something that bothered me. But this did. After work, like every day, I went to a bar and sat alone. Sean usually joined me even though we didn’t speak, but Scarlet had a doctor’s appointment, and since he went everywhere with her, he joined her.

It didn’t bother me. I wanted to be alone. The bartender knew my name because I came there so often. He would ask the usual questions. “Divorced? Widowed?” I shook my head in response.

I’d had my last drink when I cut myself off. My mind was a little foggy, and Trinity’s face came into view.

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